“Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”  When group members react cynically to the motivations of others in the group, and indeed, are cynical of people in general, I point out that cynicism comes from hurt.  Invariably, these group members have been deeply hurt by important people in their lives and they have learned to protect themselves from further hurt by deciding to trust no one.   The irony  is, however,  that unconsciously they know that they too can’t be trusted. For instance, a very wealthy businessman in one of my psychotherapy groups, says that he  doesn’t believe other members that see his softer side.  They see beneath his veneer of the ‘rough guy’ image that he shows to the world.  He believes that they are  insincere and manipulative, using him in some way or that  they are ‘fishing’ for a compliment themselves. In his mind, people see him as an object, always taking but never giving anything back.  At the same time, he treats people like objects.  He doesn’t realize that he too treats others like things to be used, especially women.  In the group, he has gone around the room rating the women’s physically attractiveness ,  Donald Trump style, as numbers from 1 to 10. He was incredulous when the women hated him for it. He just didn’t get it.  Ironically, he felt hurt that no one praised him for his ‘honesty’.