Today is the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death. I had completely blotted this fact out of my mind until I this afternoon when I led a group of middle-aged men and women that are caregivers to their own elderly parents.
I had been feeling down and enervated for the last few days and couldn’t figure out why. It was an old feeling, one that I was familiar with but hadn’t felt for quite some time. When the group began today, several members shared their feelings of exhaustion, depression and a sense of being overwhelmed. My mind flashed back to the time in my life when I felt the same way caring for my dying mother; and then it hit me:” What’s today’s date?” I said to myself–“September 29th”. Then it all made sense. I had known that the anniversary was approaching but in the last few days, I repressed the thought of it. I smiled to myself when it all came together. One member noticed the smile and asked me:” What’s so funny?” In a split second, I had to decide whether to hide behind the therapist mask or come clean. I said:” No, I’m not laughing at you. I don’t usually reveal facts of my own personal life; but today I’ll make an exception”. I told the group about my recent malaise and said that in the midst of the group discussion, my memory was jarred and I remembered that today was the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death. I wryly thanked them for helping me come back to myself which allowed everyone in the group to share the smile.
