Chapter 189: Sex In The City: “Can you top that?”
Jack came to group after a panic attack. He looked visibly shaken. Kelly asked him: “What’s wrong? You look like you just lost your best friend?” Jack replied: “I did just lose my best friend. Helen left me for another guy”. The group was supportive and protective of Jack, especially the women. Grace said: “Aah. Just remember, we all still love you.” To lighten the mood a bit, I commanded her:” Speak for yourself!” Grace corrected:” I still love you!” But Jack broke in: “You may not feel that way when you hear what happened next.”
He told us that a friend invited him to a holiday party: ”There’ll be lots of hot single women”, he told Jack. But initially, Jack wasn’t interested; he was too depressed. His friend was persistent and eventually wore him down: “Forget Helen for a while. Come with me and have some fun.” To make a short story even shorter, at the party, the women out-numbered the men 10 to 1. Jack told the group that they circled him, and his friend, like sharks at a feeding frenzy. One hottie approached him and invited Jack back to her place to ‘watch a movie’—“netflix and chill”, she said. Jack told us: “Yea, right. I went along with the flow”. I asked him: “Her name was Flo?” Jack spent the night with her but left at first light. He couldn’t wait to get out of there. At 6am, in a panic he ran to “First Med”, convinced that he had contracted an STD. The attending physician told him that even if he had gotten one, it wouldn’t show up so soon. Jack practically begged for an antibiotic and STD meds.
Rick broke in and asked: “So what’s the problem?” Jack said:” I felt so bad that I did something to this woman. She told me things about herself that made me think she was crazy. There were red flags all over the place but I screwed her anyway”. I said: “She was crazy for taking a complete stranger home but tell us—did you put a gun to her head?” Jack said:” Hell no. She came on to me—big time. So why did I have a panic attack?” I said: ”Panic attacks are often about guilt. What were you guilty about?” Jack said: “Isn’t it obvious? Aren’t the women here all mad at me for what I did?” Sissy said: “You didn’t do anything bad to this woman.” All the other women agreed. I asked her: “Why can’t Jack have his distortions?” He said: “What do you mean?” I answered: “If you did a number at all, it was on yourself. I think your panic attack was about guilty feelings toward Helen—not this stranger. This was a revenge fuck. I would imagine the ghost of Helen hovered over the bed all the time you were getting it on. ”
Penelope said: “I’m confused.” I said:” Confused means you want something explained.” She said: “ I don’t understand what Jack felt guilty about.” I said: “In Jack’s mind he was cheating on Helen. She left him and he feels guilty.” Penelope said: “She left him for another man! That’s so irrational.” I said: “If people were rational, I’d be out of business.” Alan said: “This makes no sense.” I protected Jack and said to Alan: “Stop making sense!” It was then that a light bulb went on in Jack’s head: “You know. Come to think of it, you’re right. I just remembered something. While she was blowing me…” Jack trailed off and looked sheepishly at Suzy, the most prim and proper woman in the group, and asked: “Are you offended by my language?” Suzy laughed and said:” I know what a blow job is!” We all laughed and Jack continued: ”As she was blowing me, I thought-‘Helen does it better!’ That’s when I felt guilty about cheating on her”.
I turned to Barry, the man in the group known for his infidelities, and asked: “What’s your feeling toward Jack right now?” He said: “I can relate. Just the other day I had sex with a new woman and felt guilty about cheating on Sylvia.” Mimi asked: “I thought your wife’s name was Betty!” Barry said: “My wife’s name is Betty”. Jon asked: “So who’s Sylvia?” Barry said: “Sylvia’s my mistress!” I asked Barry: “So you felt guilty about cheating on your mistress but not your wife?” Barry said: “Yes. That’s right.” I turned to Jack and asked: “Can you top that?” Jack replied: “No.” Then Jack turned to Barry and said: “Thanks. I feel better already!”