The intrusion of cell phones in social interactions has reached epidemic proportions in our society. Professor Marty Kaplan has labelled the phenomenon: ’WMD-Weapons of Mass Distraction’. The other night, for example, while out to dinner, we saw a family of four seated around a table all texting. The intrusion of cell phones has even invaded group therapy. Despite the group rule to turn off phones during session, some members take calls anyway. Aside from being distracting, taking calls during group therapy is rude .
Attempts to confront the antisocial texter in group have met with the group’s resistance. For one thing, it seems that the only one who’s bothered by them, is me. The members seem blasé, to the point of colluding with the offender. When Susan answered her phone while Betty was speaking, Betty kept speaking. When I told Susan to turn it off, she glared at me and said:” My daughter needs me”. Betty supported her:”What if it’s an emergency?” I asked: “Should I feel guilty?” But what if it is a genuine emergency? I have forgotten what group therapy was like before cell phones.
To combat this ‘crime’, mirroring seems to help resolve the problem. The last time my phone rang during a group session, I answered it; extending an out stretched hand, I said: “Wait—Can’t you see I’m busy here!” All hell broke loose. Rick said: “If you’re so bugged by texting, why don’t say your feelings like the rest of us?” My reply:” My contract with the group is different than yours. Members are to say how they feel toward each and why they feel that way. My job is to understand the group”. Max asked: ”So what do you understand about us?” I answered: “This group has an objection to being in the moment”. For the time being, texting in group has all but ceased. Apparently the group got my message. Stay tuned.
re cell phone ridiculousness, i am most offended in your favor. unfortunately, it seems to me to imply members are not appreciating group for what it can offer them, at least so far. it is simple. all phones have a vibration feature so no one has to experience hearing a cell phone. the person who gets the call looks to see the caller and ignore or say excuse me. in any case it is so rude. if a person might have an emergency are they not able to call your answering service in case of emergency, to reach you so you can pass that on to the member? just trying to offer assistance here. it is too bad that they are not quite getting the message that the more they focus on each and every member, they are giving themselves a lesson in social trust, acceptance, and positive attention. the old saying, you can’t win them all, right? we should not take group so lightly, but first i think we need to understand its deepest meaning.
Clara: So true. Thanks once again for your support. Dr.Pepper