Emotions like energy, can neither be created nor destroyed.  The theory goes that if the feelings are not put into words, they are transformed either in action or physical symptoms. Here’s an example of the later.

A group member, Martin, often complained of stomach aches. His medical doctor could find no physical reason for them.  He told him that they were: “All in your head… Go see a shrink.”  This was a rather insensitive and inaccurate formulation.  To say: “it’s all in your head,” makes it seem like Martin’s symptoms weren’t real. Of course, they were real in the sense that he experienced physical pain. During one group meeting, he complained of particularly severe stomach pain. I asked him: “If your stomach could speak, what would it say?” He said: “I don’t know.”  I said:” I don’t know means -‘I don’t want to know.’  This is not a factual question. Give your stomach pains words.”  Martin thought for a moment then said: “I miss my mother but it’s been so many years that she’s been gone. I shouldn’t still be having these feelings.” Betty was reassuring and said something very wise: “I understand how you feel. Death ends a life; it doesn’t end a relationship. My mother died 30 years ago. I think of her often and will always miss her.” Martin then remembered that this was the anniversary of his mother’s death.  He had put it out of his mind and forgot about it, but the pain of missing his mother didn’t just go away. It went into his body in the form of a symptom. Martin said it through his body. One could say that he was a body poet.  ‘Why his stomach?,’ you ask… and I don’t really know.  Perhaps his stomach was most sensitive to emotional pain. Group members asked Martin to tell us about his mother. He told sad stories and funny stories about her. We all laughed and cried along with him. He was very relieved by the group’s interest in him and support. After Martin had finished talking about his mother, the pain went away. Was it gone for good?  Who can say.   What can be said is a matter of values: ” It’s better to know what you’re feeling  than not”.