It is a simple formula but not always so easy to abide by. So when group members are self-critical for having stayed in a relationship that no longer works, I remind them that if it were all bad, it would have been easy to leave. There is a smile of relief when they can accept this reality. Group members report that  there is often a turning point, a really hurtful fight or betrayal, when they come to the realization that their love relationship is over and the decision is made to leave; but the actual leaving may not come for quite a while.  To my mind, their conflict about ending it is actually a healthy sign.  It means that they were willing to give the relationship the benefit of the doubt until they really have had enough.