I just received the bad news; my therapist of 30 years, Rosalind B. Kaplan, PhD., has died. Of all the good things that I learned from her over that time, one simple sentence stands out today. It was: “Good for you”. I said it yesterday to my 3 year old grandson, CJ, who proudly announced  to us: “I went on the potty today”.  This was big family news because he had been resisting the process for some time.  While other family members cheered and said: “We’re proud of you”. At that moment, I remembered  something that Roz told me years ago.  She said that when someone overcomes a challenge in their life, it’s better to say:” Good for you” rather than “I’m proud of you”.  While it may seem like saying the same thing– it’s not.  If you think about it, “I’m proud of you” brings it back to you and diminishes the accomplishment as totally the other person’s achievement.  Maybe the distinction is too subtle but I never forgot it.   Telling my grandson:” Good for you” felt like a connection  had been established  between the three generations: CJ, me and Roz, and it occurred on the eve of a Jewish Holiday that she cherished.