Mark (all names have been changed) arrived late for his mens’ group.  He looked visibly depressed.  Marvin asked him: “What happened?” Mark told the group that he could barely speak because he was so upset. He had come to group directly from the vet; he was devastated because his dog had to be put down. ‘Suzy’ had undergone emergency surgery. At first it looked good but when she took a turn for the worse, the vet called him and told Mark to come in and say good-bye.  Mark couldn’t do it.  He lost his mother to cancer only six months before and it was unbearable for him to face another loss.  At his girlfriend’s urging and support, he summoned the courage  and they both went to the hospital.  As the doctor wheeled in the terminally ill dog, she looked up at him from the gurney and began to hiccup.  Mark asked the vet what was happening?  The vet told Mark that “Suzy” was happy to see him.  She died as he held her in his arms. As Mark told us this, he began to sob uncontrollably.  I told him to keep crying, let it out. He felt ashamed to cry in front of the group;.  but the entire group of  macho, ‘big boys don’t cry”,  men cried along with him. We were all crying. Martin told Mark:” You’re my hero”.  Mark wouldn’t hear of it.  He said: “I’m no hero. My girlfriend practically had to drag me to the vet”. Mel said:” The image of those last few moments of you with your dog are just so touching”. Mark looked up incredulously and said:” You think so?”. I told him that he was a hero precisely because he didn’t want to go. I said;” You felt afraid to face the pain but you went anyway. That’s what makes you a hero”.