While the focus of this blog is about keeping the exchange of feelings between members flowing in a psychoanalytic treatment group, it is intended to be of use for all emotionally significant interactions, whether in therapy or between people in their real lives. Many of my group patients have an objection to what they call ‘bad’ feelings.  They would prefer to keep only the ‘good’ ones. But like most things in life, emotions exist as dualities and there is really no such things as good and bad feelings—just feelings. For better or worse, it’s a package deal.  I tell my groups that in order to fully experience the good feelings, bad feelings need to be tolerated and understood. It’s not so much just having feelings as it is what one does with them.  It’s possible to have all one’s feelings but choose which feelings to act on. Hence this blog’s heading- “Don’t Do a Number on Anyone and Don’t Let Anyone Do a Number on You”-which simply means that to have successful interpersonal relationships, it’s imperative to distinguish thoughts from feelings and to foster positive and constructive dialogues even when unpleasant feelings exist between people. The basic assumption is that emotions are like energy; they can neither be created nor destroyed. They can only be transformed. There are three possible outlets for feelings: 1. they can be put into words 2. They can be put into action 3. They can be put into the body. The task of the group leader is to foster the first alternative.  The second two can lead to the disruption of interpersonal interactions which are destructive, self-destructive or both. My clinical and personal experience show that the stabilizing effect of putting feelings into words in a secure group therapy milieu. First and foremost, it is the ethically and clinically sound group leader’s responsibility to create a safe environment where members feel free to say everything. In my opinion, the key to providing a safe environment is the maintenance of the frame of treatment where members are known to the leader and to each other only in their role as group members.  In other words, there is no outside the group contact and the blurring of boundaries between therapy and not therapy does not occur. There are other components of a safe treatment environment as well. One is that there is no touching.  If members can touch they can also hit.  But verbal hugs are always allowed. Another element is, there is to be no name calling or character assassinations.  These are always an abusive way of controlling an interaction by defining the other person and thereby defining reality.  “You are a…” (fill in the blank) is a verbal attack ; it is also a direct challenge to the leader’s authority, who has defined the contract in group as: “say how you feel to the others in the room, and why you feel that way”.  Name calling must not occur in a safe milieu. The leader must step in hard when this occurs and say:” That is abusive!”   But despite the leader’s best efforts, members can be emotionally injured.  One of my greatest concerns is that a member will be hurt by their group experience. It is impossible for the leader to always protect members from harm. No leader can ever be 100% certain that all members will abide by the contract, all of the time. In the blogs to follow, I will offer examples from my own group leadership experience of  unconventional interventions that I have employed to foster emotionally authentic interactions between members.  I will also include instances that, despite my best efforts, did not work well; and I will explain why not.