I have noticed a fascinating interpersonal dynamic in  both my personal and professional life. Some people make deals with others that exist only in their own minds; even though  the other person  hasn’t agreed to ‘the deal’ they are angry when their expectations are unmet. The agreement exists only in their own thinking; it’s as if they want their mind read.  For example, a group member, Harvey, reported an argument with his wife. She was angry that him because he didn’t give up his day off from work to run household errands. “I never ask you to do anything around the house, but when I do, I expect you to do it”, she said. Initially, he felt guilty. He thought:  I should’ve known what she wanted even without her asking”. When he brought it to the group, the members had a different ‘take’ on the couple’s interaction. “Why does your wife insist on being seen as a martyr?”; Virginia said. ” Are you supposed to be a mind-reader?” said William. Harvey realized his mother had laid the same guilt trip on him when he was a kid. He went back to his wife and said: ” I never agreed to that arrangement. Don’t make sacrifices and expect me to know that’s what you’re doing; and then expect me to do the same. Tell me what you need when you need it and I’ll do the same with you. That’s an agreement that I can live with”.