Groups, just like individuals, have personalities; some are more aggressive than others. In a recent meeting, of a group with a self-acclaimed non aggression pact, a female member bitterly complained about the emotionally abusive treatment that she was receiving at the hands of her ‘shithead’ boyfriend. The group was very supportive of her, in fact, to my mind members were overly supportive.  Both the men and the women roundly condemned the loutish boyfriend.  They said that they were very angry with him. After several minutes of the ‘piling on’ of the protective feelings toward her, I turned to her and said:” Why is the group so protective of you? Why aren’t they angry with you for having accepted such unacceptable behavior?” The group was angry with her but shielded her at her own expense, not encouraging her to look at her need to been seen as a victim. No one asked:” What are you getting out of the situation just the way it is?” This would have stirred her anxiety but it would have raised the group’s anxiety level as well. Members would have had to consider their own investments in toxic love relationships, in maintaining the status quo in their lives.  Apparently, no one was brave enough to do that.