I Wish I Were As Smart As You Pt.1

Freud was right. Human beings are,  by nature, aggressive creatures.  In my work as a group therapist, I have observed this to be true but with one condition: some group members turn aggression back onto themselves rather than toward others.  Spotnitz, a modern analyst,...
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I Wish I Were As Smart As You Part 2

There comes  a time in the treatment of some difficult group members when all forward progress ceases  and the therapy reaches an intractable impasse. This is known as the transference resistance; and there are two different types; 1. the neurotic and the psychotic. In the...
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Why Do So Many People Like Trump?

  My answer is— because he’s so human but not necessarily humane.  Unlike some of his Republican Party Primary rivals that come across as robotic,  Trump is anything but—which is both the good news and the bad news.  He’s like a protagonist of Greek mythology...
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Karen Was Horney

I had to laugh while reading Karen Horney’s biography entitled, ” A Mind of Her Own” by Susan Quinn. The title is a bit misleading. It should have been called something like: “A Mind of Her Own— But Not Really”.   As it turns out D...
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What Are You Doing To Push Her Buttons? Pt.2

Couples often use at least two  different but related strategies  to  discombobulate  each other . The first is mostly unconscious, the second not necessarily. The first one occurs when couples take turns colluding to undermine each other’s sense of well being. The other...
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Anna & Maury–An Old World Couple

In an earlier blog (August 7), I wrote about the witty and perceptive couple that told me the secret of their successful, long-term marriage.  This is a sad post-script to that story; but first I’ll take a step back. Anna and Maury lived in the building where I worked. I...
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The Interpretation of Dreams– Group Therapy Style

I believe Freud was correct in his observation that ‘dreams are the royal road to the unconscious mind’. One of his modern day students, Robert Langs, took it further when he said that the conscious mind cannot be trusted to accurately judge our motivations and...
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In Relationships, One Partner Always Wants More

It is very rare indeed when couples want exactly the same amount of contact with each other at the same time.One partner always wants more.  As a couple therapist, I more often than not see couples in crisis. I don’t often meet couples who have stayed together fo...
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What Are You Doing to Push Her Buttons? Pt.1

Sometimes in the very first session of couple therapy, the woman presents herself as overly emotional and the man appears calm, cool and collected. He will look at me, as she is ranting and raving, as if to say:” See what a crazy woman she is!”. I then ask him:...
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When Siblings Hate Each Other–It’s All in the Family Pt.1

Families are groups  and as such they follow the same principles of interpersonal dynamics as any other group. This is not as obvious as it may seem. Trying to understand the behavior of a family member without looking at the whole social system is like trying to understand...
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The Oedipal Group Member

There are some occasions when the leader must remove a member from the group,  for at least two reasons; one is based on the member’s inability or unwillingness to live in peace in a family. They derive too much gratification from indulging their transferential rage. This...
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