When looking for a therapist, many people are drawn to profiles that describe the clinician as “Warm and caring”. These character traits aren’t necessarily what you should be looking in your search for a psychotherapist, in a friend, of course but not so much for a therapist, or at least not at the top of your list of attributes. While warm and caring maybe necessary personality traits, they are not sufficient to guarantee good treatment.

Research has shown that the most important variable in successful treatment is the character of the clinician. Are they moral? Do they conduct themselves in a manner that is consistent with their disciplines’ Code of Ethics? This doesn’t only mean they are not sleeping with their patients.

As a shrink with over 35 years of experience, I can tell you that 95% of the job of a competent therapist (and that’s what you’re looking for after all, isn’t it) is managing boundaries between what is and what isn’t therapy. A therapist’s only legitimate function is to help the patient understand the emotions that underlie their life decisions.   Once this is accomplished, it’s up to the patient to decide what changes, if any, they want to make in lives. IT IS NOT THE THERAPIST’S PLACE TO DECIDE FOR THEM.

Most people seek help for one of two reasons:, or some combination of them 1. Seeking attention for symptoms of anxiety and/or depression 2. Seeking help with interpersonal relationships. Individual therapy is best suited for the first and group therapy for the second. But who to choose for help?

With the wide array of different types therapies, CBT, analytic, gestalt, EMDR, and the different types of therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers— choosing a therapist, and a treatment type that is right for you can be a daunting. Do you take your friend’s advice and see their   great therapist? Do you choose one randomly from the provider list of your insurance company, or one whose office is near you? The minimum requirement should be that the clinician is licensed to practice psychotherapy in your State.

In today’s world, therapists’ profiles are looking more and more like dating web sites with headshots, and even body-shots, to attract attention. I saw one the other day that was over the top! A female therapist was posed seductively on armchair; her legs and feet, sans stockings, were tucked underneath her short black skirt.   A reaction of excitement might not be your first reaction. Your first, immediate reaction might be to feel put off. But you quickly dismiss it. You shouldn’t. Your first reaction is usually the right one. It’s like that old cartoon of the angel on one shoulder telling you—NO! and the devil on the other, telling you:” Yea, go for it” But think about it for a moment.: “what’s the unspoken message of the attractive woman’s profile!” What is she really saying in choosing this photo to represent her as a professional? What is the competitive unspoken message that she’s sending to prospective female patients, and the “come hither” one that she’s sending to prospective male patients? l suppose some guys maybe thinking :” What’s the big deal?” The big deal is that this woman’s behavior is over-stimulating. It draws too much attention to her in a sexually provocative way. But if you must, then find it yourself. But be wary. This woman has an issue with appropriate boundaries, but the photo draws too much attention to her. Advertising in a sexy pose is a big RED FLAG.